In the end, he learns that new outcomes can be formed from one's past and that one should accept and gain strength from life rather than succumb to despair.Anaya seems to be saying that adversity and suffering can be productive and beautiful by making us stronger, wiser, and more sympathetic persons.
Those who managed to agree personal moral independence with the cultural identity are lucky people as they should not live in constant struggle between personal considerations and social demands.
Even though the novel Searching for his place in the world, trying to understand his personal significance and role he meets Ultima, a person who becomes his teacher.
Anaya's father was a vaquero who knew the hard work of the large ranchos on the plains.
More affinities between the life of Antonio and that of Rudolfo can be traced, but the novel is not truly autobiographical, nor is it intended as such.
The first epiphany occurs when Ultima opens Antonio's eyes to the beauty of the llano and the magic of the river valley.
For the first time, Antonio feels the pulse of the earth and the unity between it and the various life forms, and he dissolves himself "into one strange, complete being." The novel is written in a simple style that demonstrates the perceptive images of Anaya's understanding of the rural culture of Chicano/as in eastern New Mexico in the 1940s.Anaya uses dream sequences to highlight the inner conflicts that push Antonio to understand the world around him.The dreams emphasize Antonio's acute intuitive sense, the conflictive understandings he has of the world around him, and his own deep fears.Therefore, having become the witness of several deaths Antonio becomes doubt the religion of Christianity and the God’s abilities “Did God listen? To understand the role of Ultima in the formation of Antonio’s perception of the world, it is better to consider the final Ultima’s words, “I bless you in the name of all that is good and strong and beautiful, Antonio. Love life, and if despair enters your heart, look for me in the evenings when the wind is gentle and the owls sing in the hills. These words are considered to be most important in the novel as they this shows that the Ultima played significant role in Antonio’s life.Ultima was Antonio’s teachers, he helped him make choices which Antonio cold not make himself, as he believed.The trilogy comprised of Bless Me, Ultima, Heart of Aztlan, and Tortuga has been acknowledged by Anaya as somewhat autobiographical in the sense that he uses the memories of his experiences as sources for his writings.His mother was from the Puerto de Luna valley, where Billy the Kid, el Bilito, attended Mexican dances and wrestled in the streets with his Mexican-American friends.The life of young Antonio Márez, like our own lives, is a multidimensional, booming, buzzing world — laced with constraints and opportunities, absolutes and relativisms, structures and freedoms, harmonies and conflicts, unities and divisions, consistencies and traditions, love and hate, good and evil. One rages within Antonio, another among the students at school, and still another between the students and their teacher.The primary structural feature of the novel is conflict — in the form of competing modes of understanding between farmers and cowboys, priests and healers, children and adults. Antonio is caught between the competing lifestyles of his paternal and maternal families, and this conflict is embedded in the broader tension between Chicano/a and American cultures.The boy tries to understand why God allows such cases, why good people have to die.These are the first notes, the first signs of Antonio’s understanding of the lack of ideality in Catholicism. Therefore, considering the role of deaths in Antonio’s life, it may be concluded that these events impacted Antonio’s vision of social culture and negative attitude to Catholicism as religion.