Good Opening Introductions Essays

Good Opening Introductions Essays-69
I sing myself hoarse each morning in the shower, and playing the trumpet leaves a red mouthpiece-shaped badge of courage on my lips all day.I suspect that if someone were to look at my blood under a microscope, they would see, between the platelets and t-cells, little black musical notes coursing through my body.”Both writers have succeeded in grabbing our attention and revealing something unique about their personalities, which they will go on to explain in further detail.

I sing myself hoarse each morning in the shower, and playing the trumpet leaves a red mouthpiece-shaped badge of courage on my lips all day.I suspect that if someone were to look at my blood under a microscope, they would see, between the platelets and t-cells, little black musical notes coursing through my body.”Both writers have succeeded in grabbing our attention and revealing something unique about their personalities, which they will go on to explain in further detail.

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Clear yor mind by zinking of somezing plasant.’ For five minutes, all of us found ourselves sitting cross-legged on the floor with a soft, sleepy look on our faces as we subconsciously nodded to the soothing rhythmic voice of our French teacher.

Our heads were still half wafting in the delicious swirls of dreamland, barely dwelling in the bittersweet shock of reality.

Consider this applicant’s introduction:“I can’t tell you in which peer group I’d fit best because I’m a social chameleon and am comfortable in most; I will instead describe my own social situation and the various cliques I drift in and out of.”This applicant writes what starts out as a potentially engaging introduction, but the paragraph immediately loses the reader’s interest by telling him what the applicant is going to write about.

Now consider the applicant’s second paragraph:“My high school’s student body is from a part of town that is much more diverse than the rest of the city, and the city as a whole is more diverse than most of the state.

I need to listen to music, to write music, to play music every day.

I can’t go a whole day without, at the very least, humming or whistling the tunes that crowd my head.Nine stitches and thirteen years later, while I no longer attempt to be stronger than steel or faster than a speeding bullet, I still find myself testing my limits, mental and physical.”This applicant takes a similar approach:“I am an addict.I tell people I could stop anytime, but deep inside, I know I am lying.However, by adding such a short and bland introduction, he has decreased the effectiveness of his personal statement.It is sometimes unnecessary to establish context right away.The location of my school, only a few blocks from the University of Oregon, is greatly responsible for the social atmosphere.Whereas the other high schools in town draw mainly from middle-class white suburban families, mine sits in the division between the poor west university neighborhood and the affluent east university one.On the west side of my school there are many dirty apartments; crime is high and social status is low.”Here, the writer engages the reader by providing a vivid description of the locale of his home and school.He probably felt he needed the introductory paragraph so the reader would not be confused by his second paragraph.Ideally this should begin right from the attention-grabbing opening sentence.Many people make the mistake of writing an introductory paragraph that explains what they are going to talk about in the rest of the essay.

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