Even in the Church we got all swept up in issues of nuclear war, etc.And while total silence on that matter from the Church would have been wrong, where were similar statements against the nuclear fission of divorce as our families were split and we were handing out annulments like candy?After all, the thinking goes, doesn’t God want everyone to be happy?Tags: Technology Is Growing EssayNietzsche Genealogy Morals Essay 3Creative Writing Bay AreaDebt Assignment AgreementEssay On Why Education Is ImportantEssay On Influential PersonCell Phone Banning While Driving EssayCharacter Analysis Essay Rip Van WinkleDissertation Grant
The critique here is of the culture, first and foremost.
The fact is that by and large people used to work out their differences and stay married, but today they do not.
Ask them about how all of this affects their understanding of acceptance, loyalty, trust, self-esteem, respect for authority, appreciation for the truth, personal responsibility, courageousness, perseverance, forgiveness, human dignity, sexual responsibility, marriage, family, love, and on and on.
We need to see divorce for the diabolical lie that it is.
Talk to them honestly about the absurdities to which they were subjected: they were supposed to get along with their siblings while Mom and Dad played by other rules.
Talk to them about being shipped back and forth to different homes, about feeling guilty that they liked one setting or parent more than the other, about two houses with two different sets of rules, about Mom and Dad bad-mouthing each other, about being subjected to “loyalty tests” by their parents.
It is not the job of the child to suffer for the parent, but the job of the parent to endure, to make the best of a poor situation, to swallow his pride, to bend her knees, for the sake of the child.
I have heard [from those] who still quaver in voice when they speak about what their divorced parents did to them – hustling them from one half of a home to another half, enlisting them as confidants, one against the other, [threatening] them that they may just find themselves a lot less often with a parent they love if they do not do exactly what the [threatener] demands.[and I would add forcing them to endure Daddy’s new live-in girlfriend, or Mommy’s new husband, or a strange new step-brother who is hard to get along with and who started touching them in embarrassing places.][The Child] must be told that the father, although he wasn’t so terrible, just couldn’t satisfy the mother in some mysterious way, and so bad was this dissatisfaction that she had no choice but to compel her son [or daughter] to live without a father …
The mother replied, “But I still love him.” My classmate saw through this self-justifying lie and challenged her mother to “get back together with Dad again.” Her mother just responded, “You’ll understand when you get older.” In one short phrase, her mother managed to both patronize her daughter and introduce her to the cynical and compromised world of the baby-boomer generation, a generation that collectively never grew up and that may well be the most narcissistic, egocentric, selfish, and immature generation since the patricians of the late Greco-Roman culture.
Disclaimer – I realize that every divorce story is an individual one.