Maybe the longer the list, the more important you feel. If you’re a single parent, you especially know what I mean. There’s no one else to do many of the things necessary to take care of your home, your children, and your job.
In all these cases, it would be more helpful to go after the underlying issue than to fret about the list.
Maybe your money woes aren’t because you’re a saver and he’s a spender. There’s no simple way to solve, avoid or minimize them.
Maybe the problem is that you each use money as a way to communicate control issues. Maybe one or the other of you rebels about the need to budget.
That, in itself, brings more clarity to the problem at hand.
But go further and test each assumption for validity: think in ways that they might not be valid and their consequences.
In the end, the problem is still the same, but the feelings — and the points of view — associated with each of them are vastly different.
Play freely with the problem statement, rewording it several times.
Every problem — no matter how apparently simple it may be — comes with a long list of assumptions attached.
Many of these assumptions may be inaccurate and could make your problem statement inadequate or even misguided.